Answering Machine Blues
by Robyn the Snowshoe Hare
Summary: The night that Willow casts her spell, Cordelia gets a few calls..


Title: Answering Machine Blues Author: Robyn the Snowshoe Hare Part: 1/1 Disclaimer: Joss and Co, etc. 

Spoilers for 'Something Blue'. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Hi, Cordelia! Sorry we missed you, but I just can't wait to tell you the great news! I'm getting married! To Spike! Weird, huh? Well, he just proposed, and I just had to tell you right away. I'll try you again in about an hour. Bye! 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Hey, Cordy. Guess I missed you again. Would you be one of my bridesmaids? I'm not going to make you wear something hideous, I promise. You and the other bridesmaids will decide on the color and style. I really wish I could talk to you face-to-face, but this is as close as we can get. Giles is really freaking out. Spike is being really sweet about it, though. I'll call you again later, okay? 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Late night, Cordy? I hope Angel gave you a raise. Which is actually kinda why I'm calling again. If you see Angel, could you ask him if he'd come? The groom's side is pretty empty, so we need Angel to fill it out a little. Spike is really against making him one of the ushers, so do you think Doyle would go for it? He seemed like a pretty nice guy. Call me soon! 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Cordelia? This is Anya. Listen, we're both on the bridesmaid list, so I just wanted to say, there is no way I'm wearing pink. And anything with ruffles is out. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Cordelia, this is your mother. Were you ever planning on calling me back? After all, I only gave birth to you. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Cordy? Xander. Just wanted to call and tell you that hopefully you *won't* be pulling bridesmaid duty for Spike and Buffy, because it's just one of those spells gone nuts again. One of these days I'm going to staple Willow's spellbooks shut. Gotta run, but I'll call you again later. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

This is Anya again. Don't you ever answer your phone? Anyway, what do you think about green for the dresses? 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Um, Cordelia? This is Giles. I was just calling to ask if you could give me the number for Angel's office, since he might know a way to break this bloody spell. I'm rather, er, blind at the moment, which cuts down my researching options. Call me when you get in. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Oh, my God, Cordelia, you would *NOT* believe the outfit that Trisha just wore to the Bronze tonight. She actually tried to pull off a powder blue, but you know her complexion. *God*, it's hard without you. I mean, *powder blue*? Ugh. *So* 1995. I just said to myself, 'Aura, you *have* to call Cordelia *right* *now*.' Call me back when you get a chance, okay? I'll tell you all about Mandy's thing with Trent. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Cordelia? Um, I just wanted to tell you that you should probably just ignore all the rest of the messages on your machine. That thing with me and Spike? Spell. All Willow's fault, by the way. Ugh! I was actually *engaged* to Spike! Could there be a yuckier thing? I hope everything's good with you. I'll call you again tomorrow, since right now I need to go home and shower for about four hours. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

Um, hi Cordelia! It's Willow, and I just wanted to say that it's all my fault. You know, the Buffy and Spike marriage thing, all the demons chasing Xander thing, and the thing where Giles was blind. I'm sending you a box of cookies, so I hope it'll be all right. Gotta go, the timer on the next batch of chocolate chippers just went off! 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

This is Anya again. I just wanted to say, that whatever bridesmaid dress we might've decided on, I would've looked *way* better in it. 

*ring* *ring* *ring* 

Hello, you've reached Cordelia Chase. I can't come to the phone right now, since I'm too busy achieving my goal of world superstardom. Leave your message after the tone. 

*beep* 

-bloody hell. Stupid toffing machine. Listen, Cordelia, I just want to say that if you *ever* tell Angel about this, I'll come down there and rip out your organs to frame and put on my wall....hope you're doing okay and all that. 

The End 


End file.
